HOWARD'S WORKPLACE POLICY CRICKET-FRIENDLY

By Greg Tourelle of NZPA

Sydney, Sept 9 NZPA - The eyelids are heavy, the coffee queues are long, work tasks are taking ages to complete and quite a few people are missing.

But if Australian bosses are heeding the advice of Prime Minister John Howard, it doesn't matter.

His flexible workplace policy involves kindness to workers -- when the cricket is on.

And right now, the most important cricket match in history is being played in England -- or so we are told. Australia trail England 2-1 and need to win the fifth test if they are to retain the Ashes.

If they are going bonkers in the Old Dart over the prospect of winning the wee urn for the first time in 16 years, in the lucky country they are nervous wrecks.

Like captain Ricky Ponting, they are biting their fingernails to the quick.

The Australians have dominated test cricket for years, but the English have had the audacity to stand up and compete in this series.

Ponting and his side haven't reacted well under the pressure, with some temperamental displays. But they have an added spur to win the final test -- the thought of going down to the former colonial rulers is just too hurtful for them.

The Aussies remember only too well the bagging they copped after losing rugby's World Cup to the English two years ago. They won't want a repeat of that.

Howard, a self-confessed "cricket tragic" who loves to get behind the microphone at test matches, wished Ponting all the best for the climax to what has been an exciting series.

He was asked about Britain's Trade Union Council's plea for bosses to let workers follow the fifth test. Would he do the same?

"Well of course the hours are a little different," he told journalists.

"There should be workplace flexibility and that means that where it's possible, there should be flexible arrangements so people can watch."

This is different language from that used by a predecessor of Howard's, Bob Hawke.

As Australians started celebrating their win for the first time in yachting's America's Cup in 1983, Hawke declared: "Any boss who sacks anyone for not turning up today is a bum."

A more sombre figure, Howard could never be that direct. One journalist wrote that his comment about flexible arrangements sounded like a provision of the Workplace Relations Act.

The Government's proposed new labour laws have provoked union claims that they are employer-friendly, but when the cricket is involved, flexibility is apparently on the workers' side.

That's not to say employers won't be using matchsticks to prise open their own eyelids.

Victoria Employer of Chamber and Commerce spokesman David Gregory said employers were generally willing to accept bleary-eyed employees.

"It is a sporting event where there is widespread interest," he told The Age newspaper.

"There have been a number of CEOs, not just employees, doing the hard yards recently and staying up to watch the series."

But hopefully not everyone will be heeding the PM's keenness to watch the cricket all night.

You'd be within your rights to ask a surgeon whether he or she was a cricket fanatic should you be booked in for an op during the course of the five-day test, lest a simple gallstone removal became a kidney transplant.

And you wouldn't want a hearse driver to be up all night trying to detect Warnie's googly from his flipper and end up at the wrong cemetery. Unless you were in the coffin, in which case you wouldn't give a toss about the cricket result.

What still has to be resolved is what happens if Australia wins the test and retains the little urn. A national day of celebration, free beer for the masses courtesy of John Howard and his government?

And if England wins? A national day of mourning, flags at half-mast, the burning of Ricky Ponting effigies?

Only one thing is certain: John Howard won't call employers bums.

Meanwhile, British Airways have come up with a novel way of involving itself in the Ashes result.

It is offering flights from Melbourne or Sydney to London for prices equivalent to England's first innings score in the test.

The deal matches its British offer, which gives British residents the chance to buy tickets for the price of Australia's first innings.

And the number of tickets at the Ashes price will be set by Australia's first innings total in the test.

If Australia makes 400, for example, then 400 tickets will be offered.

But if Australia loses, Ponting and his boys won't be looking for cheap deals to return home.

Ed: They lost.

SWANS ETCH THEIR PLACE IN SYDNEY

By Greg Tourelle of NZPA

Sydney, Sept 30 NZPA - Sydney is a town in apparent identity crisis over its sport.

It's hard to believe that on the eve of rugby league's grand final weekend, thousands have lined central Sin City to cheer for an Australian Football League (AFL) team. (That's Aussie Rules for New Zealanders, though a term hardly ever used this side of the ditch).

The Sydney Swans' triumph over the West Coast Eagles in Saturday's AFL final at the Melbourne Cricket Ground was magical.

In Sydney, masses invaded pubs to watch the final. A huge screen out the back of Randwick racecourse distracted race fans from the nags.

And when Leo Barry soared above an eight-man pack moments from full-time to take a mark and end the Eagles' hopes of victory, the roar from the fans was greater than any decibel reading for goals kicked in the match.

Four million people watched the victory on television.

Sydneysiders still don't know a full forward from a ruckman and are bewildered as to why there are two sets of goalposts at each end of the field, but they are willing embrace winners.

Life will return to normal on Sunday. Rugby league is king in Sydney, but the Swans have shown, after 23 years of struggle, that there is a place in Sydney's sporting landscape for them.

And rugby union will have to polish its boots in the challenge for crowd and sponsorships.

The Swans have had their own identity crisis. They were originally the South Melbourne Bloods -- in Melbourne their fans yell the earthy "Carn The Bloods" while in Sydney it is the more twee "Go The Swannies".

About the time they won their last Victorian Football League premiership in 1933, their named changed to the Swans. Some have attributed the 72-year gap in championship wins to the switch to the more effeminate name.

The Swans' change of venue to Sydney in 1982 was done to attract new fans to the game, as the team faced extinction in South Melbourne.

But in targeting the upper classes, the Swans were derided by the populous masses, particularly out west where league was untouchable. Their image wasn't helped by Dr Geoffrey Edelsten, who bought the club in 1985, travelling in a pink helicopter.

The chardonnay image was toned down when tough, rough Tony Lockett arrived at the club, but still getting crowds was a problem.

The Swans made the 1996 grand final but lost to North Melbourne and it has taken one of their former stars, Paul Roos, this year to guide them into the final series and ultimate victory.

They may be Swans in name, but there is a toughness about the players. Leo Barry, who took the match-saving mark, played with a triple fracture of the cheekbone suffered three matches before.

He was one of many to play with pain-killing injections, one for as long as 16 weeks.

Despite their success, the aerial ballet style has failed to sway some diehards in Sydney.

Daily Telegraph columnist Mike Gibson lamented the bumbling that took place in the final.

"As far as skills were concerned, as far as showcasing the game, Saturday afternoon at the MCG was a mishmash of missed goals, muffed marks and football that was scrappy at best," he wrote.

"It was an arm-wrestle with scratches. It was like two guys chewing on each other's ears. It was like watching a couple of blue heelers fighting over a bone."

As a counter, Gibson praised the silky skills of the Wests Tigers, who play the North Queensland Cowboys in the league final on Sunday.

"Hand speed, fancy footwork and the ability to get rid of the ball are the dominant factors.

He said comparing AFL to rugby league was like comparing Edna Everage to Elle Macpherson. "Or frankfurters to filet mignon."

There is a joke about the Swans on the convictcreations website, but be warned, it is very Australian.

On a crowded train going to the SCG, a fan decked out in red and white colours proudly had a large Swan sitting on his lap. Sitting directly opposite, at face level with the Swan, was an old codger in red and black colours (Essendon).

"They won't let you take a pig into the SCG you know," he said loudly.

"It's not a pig, it's a Swan, ya dickhead" said the fan in the red and white colours.

"I wasn't talking to you," replied the old codger.

LEADERS TURN ON AN AFFECTION-FEST

By Greg Tourelle of NZPA

Sydney, Feb 10 NZPA - The warm fuzzies hit Canberra this week.

Trans-Tasman Prime Ministers John Howard and Helen Clark met for their seventh annual bilateral talks and while they might not love each other, affection is apparent.

Given that they are on different sides of the political fence and privately must shudder at the other's policies on some issues -- such as Iraq and refugees -- it's perhaps best to call it political affection.

But there is no doubt that they have crafted a relationship that works well for both countries.

At their joint press conference, PM Howard beamed broadly as PM Clark spoke and PM Clark nodded appreciatively when it was PM Howard's turn.

Journalists probed for issues that might cause friction between the two but the pair presented a straight bat, smiling as they did so, deftly avoiding intruding on each other's "home patch" problems.

They managed to smooth over issues such as the failure to win agreement over having a single trans-Tasman regulator with comments about respecting the rights of sovereign nations to have their own viewpoints.

And there were those warm fuzzies.

"Thank you for the commitment you make to these regular gatherings," Howard told Clark.

He mentioned they had seen much of each other in the past year or so; at the Pacific Island forum, Apec, the Commonwealth heads of government meeting and the East Asia summit.

"But the bilateral relationship is tremendously important and it has been a high priority of mine in the past 10 years, as it has of Miss Clark, and I appreciate that very much," he swooned.

"We greatly appreciate the confidentiality and the trust that has existed between us; we have both resolved to put the interests of our countries ahead of any other philosophical differences we might from time to time."

Clark returned the compliments and noted that the relationship between New Zealand and Australia was as close between countries as could be found anywhere in the world.

"The result is that there are very few issues that grate at the bilateral level and, rather, a willingness to look forward to how deepening the co-operation we already enjoy would be of benefit to us both."

Australian Opposition leader Kim Beazley was missing out on the affection-fest but he had his turn at a parliamentary luncheon in honour of Miss Clark's visit.

"It is absolutely delightful to see Prime Minister Clark here. She is always a welcome guest in this country," he boomed, forgetting the time when angry Ansett workers blockaded her flight out of Melbourne.

"She is an unusual prime minister, a very powerful one and one who has survived a variety of political systems and what is now the most impossible democratic system in the world," he said.

Australian political leaders have not usually fallen over themselves praising New Zealand prime ministers but Clark seems to have the current mob mesmerised.

Howard lent her his air force plane to get from Sydney to Canberra and from there to Perth before she headed on to South Africa. Beazley was not in a position to do the same but you got the feeling that if he was PM, he would have sent his jet over to Wellington to pick up Clark.

If only athlete New Zealand Jane Arnott was being accorded the same recognition in Australia as her country's leader.

Arnott caused a boilover when she beat top Australian stars Jana Pittman and Tamsyn Lewis in the 400m final at the national trials in Sydney last week.

Her effort was glossed over in the Australian press in the wake of a feud between Lewis, who finished second to Arnott, and Pittman, who was last.

Lewis called Pittman a bitch in a resulting radio interview.

"With the cat fight, the bitch fight and whatever else was being said, and after the heats she came out and said there was no competition, so I was standing behind the blocks saying `I'll give you competition bitch'," Lewis said.

Pittman, a world champion in the 400m hurdles, replied that her former best friend was creating "a very evil atmosphere" in the Australian athletics team.

As Athletics Australia tried to get the pair to put their differences aside, leading Australian athletics coach Nic Bideau criticised Lewis for celebrating a second placing to Arnott.

"She came second in the final to a New Zealander and has been carrying on ever since," he told the Sydney Morning Herald.

"I have never seen someone celebrate when they've been beaten by a New Zealander."

It augurs well for the Commonwealth Games.

MIND YOUR MANNERS, PLEASE

By Greg Tourelle of NZPA

Sydney, Feb 3 NZPA - What happened to manners?

According to New South Wales Chief Justice Jim Spigelman they seem to have all but disappeared.

His comments lamenting the prevalence of boorish behaviour and a lack of ordinary manners have provoked strong debate in Australia, with Prime Minister John Howard backing him, while others have told them to get with the times.

Chief Justice Spigelman said there was "a growing concern with personal conduct in many areas of discourse" and cited road rage, parents' behaviour at school sporting events, offensive language in many spheres of social interaction, and popular culture and the sensationalism of a media driven by declining circulations and audiences.

He also mentioned indifference to the tranquillity of others by the infliction of noise, whether from boorish conduct or mobile phones, vulgarity and rudeness of reality TV shows, the selfishness of littering and the virtual disappearance in common discourse of words such as "please", "thank you" and "sorry".

Prime Minister Howard said he agreed with the chief justice and believed Australians were not polite enough to each other.

Television networks and parents had a responsibility to help people mind their manners, he said.

"I think we have seen a marked deterioration in good manners.

"I think it's time that the television networks put a curb on the increasing use of vulgarism on television.

"I think there are certain vulgar expressions that have no place on television and if there's not some self discipline exercise in that I think standards will continue to deteriorate."

While he was particularly concerned about vulgar language on reality television programmes and called for restraint, he wasn't about to introduce a mandatory code for broadcasters.

The reaction to Mr Howard's comments were predictable. What better place to start a clean-up than at Parliament House?

"I suggest a good place to start would be in the House of Representatives," wrote Kevin Maker to the Daily Telegraph.

"Rudeness and bad manners seem to the political standard. I would suggest you clean your own mess first," he lectured the PM.

Former Labour Party leader Mark Latham has kept out of this argument.

He was notorious for his description of Mr Howard as, begging your pardon for this, an "arse-licker" and his parliamentary colleagues as "a conga-line of suckholes".

When elected leader of the party he vowed to cut out the crudity, but upon leaving the party, dished out the odium to all and sundry.

Also writing in the Telegraph, Tony Thomas said that people had the choice of watching reality shows and reading the newspaper, but the way people behaved derived from education.

"We all have a responsibility to show the way for others. That's what society is all about."

He said politicians and lawmakers could show the lead in the right way to behave.

"But when the dust settles, the way my daughter will behave rests squarely on my shoulders."

It doesn't always work out that way, but Mr Thomas is leagues ahead of the attitude of many parents who have a more laissez-faire role to parenting than their own parents did.

Much has been made in the debate of a case heard in Sydney last year by local magistrate Pat O'Shane. She dismissed a charge against a drunken man who swore at police in central city George Street.

Ms O'Shane said the type of foul language was "to be expected on George St at that time of night" and that there were no longer "community standards" relating to such behaviour.

That angered police and provoked a public outcry, so all is not lost for Chief Justice Spigelman.

The Australian newspaper said he was on the mark in his warning about the deterioration of Australians' ordinary manners and backed Mr Howard's call for voluntary restraint by broadcasters when it came to violence, sexually explicit material and obscene language.

The newspaper said the many parents fleeing to send their children to private schools believed that there was too much tolerance in the public school system when it came to disciplining bad behaviour.

It would be hard to argue against the chief justice that road rage and foul behaviour by parents at children's sports matches seem far more prevalent than, say 20, years ago.

But as for "the virtual disappearance" of expressions such as "please", that's more arguable. People have probably been saying for the past century that they are in decline.

So excuse me please Your Honour, I'm sorry I will have to disagree with you on that point. Thank you.

RACISM WORRIES PUT ASIDE AS AUSSIES CELEBRATE

By Greg Tourelle of NZPA

Sydney, Jan 27 NZPA - Australians waved their flags and said "Happy Australia Day mate" to strangers on the street.

It was a festive country on Thursday, the Cronulla riots of December seemingly in the past as thousands enjoyed frolicking in the surf at that suburb's beach and at beaches around the country's coastline.

Others enjoyed barbecues, a day at the races or the cricket or tennis, or a schooner with their mates at their local pub.

Some 14,000 people became Australia citizens at ceremonies around the country. Among them were Richard Wilkins, a New Zealander best known on this side of the ditch for his television work on the entertainment beat.

Wilkins has been in Australia for 25 years and said he hadn't become an Australian citizen earlier because of his Kiwi roots.

"It used to be because I'd have to renounce my New Zealand citizenship, but that's obviously changed now. I'm honoured to be a dual citizen," he told the Daily Telegraph.

A more famous Kiwi, Russell Crowe, is expected to follow suit soon, but Australian media will still refer to him as a Kiwi when he throws phones and an Aussie when he wins an Oscar.

Most of those celebrating were content to leave the debate about Australia's history and its future to the academics, but Prime Minister John Howard caused a few talking points with his Australia Day speech.

He identified Australia's "dominant cultural pattern" as a mix of Judaeo-Christian ethics, the spirit of the Enlightenment and British institutions and culture.

But he praised the contribution of the Irish, non-conformists and successive waves of settlers to forging new attitudes and traditions.

"When it comes to being an Australian there is no hierarchy of descent," he said.

Howard said there was no need for moral panic or "national self-flagellation" over the Cronulla riots.

"Our response should reflect this nation's unswerving commitment to racial equality, coupled with an absolute determination to ensure that all sections of the Australian community are fully integrated into the mainstream of our national life."

He rejected following the New Zealand path of having a bill of rights.

"A bill of rights would not materially increase the freedoms of Australian citizens. No matter how skilfully crafted, a bill of rights always embodies the potential for misinterpretation, unintended consequences or accidental exclusion.

"History is replete with examples where grand charters and lyric phrases have failed to protect the basic rights and freedoms of a nation's citizens."

Howard also called for a change in how history was taught in Australia's schools, decrying a "fragmented stew" of post-modernism that had infected the subject.

"The idea that we should move away from sort of knowing when the Battle of Hastings was or knowing when Captain Cook came to Australia or knowing when certain things occurred simply because that's an old-hat rote way of learning is ridiculous."

History was falling victim to a crowded curriculum and "subjects deemed more `relevant' to today", he said.

Australia Day marks the first planting of the Union Jack flag by Arthur Phillip 218 years ago.

To many, though, it is also Invasion Day, marking the beginning of hostilities with the people of the land, the Aborigines.

Historian Inga Clendinnen, made an officer in the general division of Australia Day awards, has a beef about the date of Australia Day because of the invasion issue.

"People say it doesn't matter, `she'll be right'. And other things do matter more. But for some Australians, the day is a built-in insult," she told the Sydney Morning Herald.

Ms Clendinnen said she liked the citizenship ceremonies in which new Australians clutched native trees, but disliked "sentimentalised nationalism" where flags are distributed to all and sundry.

She saw that as "the grafting of the pious American model on a society that is not pious. It reeks of American right-wingery".

Ms Clendinnen's citation for her AO credited her with "addressing issues of fundamental concern to Australian society" and helping to shape public debate on contemporary issues.

The Australian of the Year was Ian Frazer, who developed vaccines to help prevent and treat cervical cancer.

Sportspeople didn't feature prominently in the awards, which would have pleased Ms Clendinnen.

"Australia is defined too much in terms of sport," she said.

"Australia Day gives people the chance to think of the community they are lucky enough to be part of. I think of the firefighters, the people who attach us to this country."

RIOTS DOMINATE AS SYDNEY HEADS INTO FESTIVE SEASON

By Greg Tourelle of NZPA

Sydney, Dec 16 NZPA - What a crazy week across the ditch.

Bradley Murdoch was found guilty of the murder of British backpacker Peter Falconio, perhaps ending Australia's biggest outback mystery since baby Azaria Chamberlain was or was not taken by a dingo at Uluru in 1980.

The Australian media did a superb job of ignoring New Zealand's brilliant one-day cricket win over Ricky Ponting's side.

Treasurer Peter Costello unveiled a budget surplus of $A11.5 billion ($NZ12.50 billion), sparking a row over tax reform, and Coopers brewery won its latest battle to stave off the raid by Lion Nathan.

But overwhelming all was the race riots in the southern Sydney, which dominated headlines -- and not just in Australia.

They have been a nasty blot on Australia's reputation -- and often its boast -- of being a tolerant society.

Cronulla beach and surrounding suburbs became a battleground between young Lebanese youths and locals -- white Australians -- who claim the beach as their own.

Historical police arrest statistics would indicate few problems at the beach, but people in the Sutherland Shire are emphatic that gangs of Lebanese youths have been harassing locals, particularly young women, with taunts about rape for some years.

When two lifeguards were allegedly assaulted the weekend before, revenge was soon on the mind of the locals.

What happened was ugly in the extreme. People of Middle Eastern appearance on the beach were attacked by a gang of about 1000 locals, many of them drunk and chanting racist slogans.

Then there were revenge attacks in surrounding suburbs, as young Muslims went on the rampage smashing people, cars and property in their wake.

Prime Minister John Howard denounced the attacks but said he thought there was no "underlying racism" in Australia.

There were bitter arguments over this and other possible causes of the riots, and much handwringing over whether multicultural policies were working.

As usual in the Australian media, the left and right wing commentators clashed.

Amanda Wise, from Macquarie University's Centre for Research on Social Inclusion, blamed the riots on "John Howard dog-whistling on immigration".

She also criticised former New South Wales premier Bob Carr for "singling out the ethnicity of rapists", referring to some prominent gangrape trials going back five years.

Prominent talkback host Alan Jones, the former Australian rugby coach, was criticised for encouraging a rally by locals. "Alan Jones' week of ranting wog-baiting which preceded the Sydney riots was...vulgar, vicious and racist, and unmistakeable incitement to violence," wrote a talkback host rival, Mike Carlton, on the Crikey website.

In the Daily Telegraph, right-wing columnist Piers Akerman said the attack on the lifeguards was the trigger for Sunday's riots, "but the tangled roots of anger lie deep within the failed multicultural policies foisted on an unsuspecting nation decades back.

"Though sold with the help of such anodyne ditties as I Am, You Are, We Are Australian, it has long been apparent many people from certain migrant groups -- notably Lebanese Muslims -- neither think of themselves as Aussies nor wish to embrace the extraordinary tolerance identified as a remarkable Australian trait."

In Britain, famed Australian feminist writer Germaine Greer called the "can Australia really be racist?" approach of the British media to the rioting as gratuitous and silly.

"Australia is as racist as Britain, no more, no less," she wrote in The Guardian newspaper.

"Australian racism derives from the same bottomless source as British racism -- from universal ignorance and working-class frustration, reinforced by an unshakeable conviction of British superiority over all other nations on earth, especially the swarthy ones."

In The Independent, prominent Australian expatriate Philip Knightley said the riots had revealed that "the lucky country's historic racism lingers on, like a sun cancer, just below the skin".

"Those Australians who are proud of their multicultural, "fair go" society -- and I believe they are still a big majority -- now need to recognise that a nasty side to their fellow citizens is still there and fight to preserve the new Australia they thought they had already built."

Police Commissioner Ken Moroney made a special plea, given the time of year. "The spirit of Christmas has simply disappeared out of this city and it is up to all of us, not only the police, but people of goodwill, to bring the spirit of Christmas back."

Hopefully, even non-Christmas observing Muslims will take up the message, but it's going to be a nervous festive season in the deep south of Sydney.